Thrilling, But Not Blood-Curdling

outlineIt is my sad lot to be a pantser.  I bear up under it, mostly, but I do sometimes wish I was an outliner.  Those anal-retentive buggers seem to have things easier in a lot of ways (nano notwithstanding).

But my recent discovery of these outlines from the Stratemeyer syndicate have been a revelation.  All I need is an Edward Stratemeyer of my own, to provide me with sizzling outlines that I can fill out into bestselling novels.  Preferably ones like those of the proposed “X-bar-X Boys series” that are thrilling, but not blood-curdling.  I’d also like to be published in hard cover like the Hardy Boys books, so as to appear respectable to parents.  Important consideration, that.

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Filed under General Writing Things, The Writing Biz

Hemingway, Again

In this age we live in, I occasionally find myself wondering how authors ever managed to perform novel research back in the old days (I mean, I sort of know, since I used to do it, but only for really bad novels).  These days, if I’m writing along and suddenly need to know how a particular machine gun works or the hierarchy of the Lutheran church or how a certain street looked in Saint Paul forty years ago I can just look it up, without ever leaving my seat.  Then it’s back to writing!

But as I work on my latest masterwork, The Killer Vicar of the Twin Cities, I am reminded that there is a dark side to all this technology.

tdb141031

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Enhance!

Longtime readers of my blogs will know that I have a soft spot for the language of MacGyver.  This supercut of people in movies enhancing images is generally awesome, but as always, the awesomest parts are those with good old MacGyver.

Of course, no video of enhancement would be complete without Adventure Time:

 

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Idiomatic Mirroring

cold-chickenI’m endlessly fascinated by idioms – mostly by the way people misuse them, of course.  Mostly, problems arise when people don’t think back to how the metaphorical language came about,but there are other ways cliches and idioms can go wrong.  For instance, in normal use of language, one can often flip the meaning of a sentence by reversing a pharsal verb in it (running into a house vs. running out of a house, for example).

But idioms make things tricker.  There are a number of tragedies in the events at the chicken houses that serve Pilgrim’s Pride, where a whole mess of chickens were killed by vengeful idiots before they could be turned into tenders or whatever.  But amongst all the other little tragedies was Clarendon County Sheriff Randy Garrett forgetting this characteristic of idiomatic language.  It’s okay, if you must, to use the colloquial “jack up” rather than “turn up” to describe someone turning up the heat on unfortunate chickens, Sheriff, but you probably shouldn’t have tried to mirror the language when you described the heat being turned off for other chickens.

 

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Filed under Metaphor!

Another Book!

TheBuriedLife-300dpiAnother day, another fine book close to my heart arrives at the old homestead (I would have taken a nice photo of the physical book as proof, but my camera has gotten all fancy-pants and insists on batteries that aren’t “mostly dead”).  As I mentioned before, I’ve already read the book thanks to my industry insider status.  Technically, it was beta reading, though it was more of a learning experience for me than anything.  You can read more at Carrie’s blog, including other blogs where the book will be chatted about: your Scalzis, your Wendigs, your Robinette Kowals, etc.

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Crabby Post of the Day

Look, I realize that celebrities are going to publish books.  And I realize that they’ll occasionally end up being interviewed about them–just because they’re celebrities doesn’t mean they don’t care about sales, and I don’t begrudge them going for a bit of publicity.  But can interviewers please stop asking them about the publishing process?  And if they are asked about finding agents or the editing process or how many books earn out advances and what that means or whatever, can the authors in question please just admit they don’t know, and don’t need to?

If you’re a movie star who decided to sit down and write a children’s book and got it published in 3 months, you probably don’t have any advice that would be all that useful to the rest of us, is all I’m saying.

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What’s Ruining the English Language Now?

destroyedWordOr rather, what used to be?  There’s a nice compilation by Lauren Davis at I09 about various things that have been blamed by descriptivists past for messing up English.  Now, I think we can all agree the the English tung
shoulde be written unmixt, cleane and pure, and that Shakespeare ruined everything by using metaphors even if English makes no sense whatsoever without them.  But some of these complaints seem a bit overblown, if familiar.

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Filed under Grammar Gripery

Flash Fiction

Papa, writing some sci-fi

Papa, writing some sci-fi

Raymond Chandler may not have thought much of science fiction, but who knew that Hemingway wrote it, with his most famous bit of flash fiction?

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Well, I Can’t Complain About This

Heaven knows I am pretty hard on mis-used cliches, but this here?  This is awesome.water-barometer-transparent

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Filed under Grammar Gripery, Metaphor!

Get Me, Being Like Scalzi

Granted, I recently pointed out when Scalzi was wrong about everything, but it is nice to be able to imitate his “New Books and ARCs” feature with all the books that have arrived at my house:

Junior Inquisitor

I should also point out that the top book on Scalzi’s pile, there?  I haven’t technically got my grubby hands on that ARC, but I’ve read it also, since I’m like an industry insider and all, and you should too.  You know, later – when the hoi polloi gets its chance.

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