{"id":184,"date":"2014-07-21T21:02:53","date_gmt":"2014-07-21T21:02:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/?p=184"},"modified":"2014-07-20T21:03:08","modified_gmt":"2014-07-20T21:03:08","slug":"an-unsettling-development-involving-squirrels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/?p=184","title":{"rendered":"An Unsettling Development Involving Squirrels"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"zombieSquirrel\"I’ve shared a number of bonechilling ideas over the years, for the edification of my readers. \u00a0I’m not sure how the latest would work as a story idea, but it certainly was bonechilling. \u00a0I was riding along on my bike, minding my own business, passing what I assumed to be a roadkilled squirrel in the other lane, as one does quite a bit in these parts. \u00a0When the squirrel sprang to its feet and darted in front of me, I didn’t have time to so much as twitch, and rolled over it with a nasty thump. \u00a0Worse yet, thanks to my speed, the squirrel was kicked up and back by my tire, where it grabbed on to my ankle with super-squirrel strength.<\/p>\n

I reacted coolly\u00a0to this development, of course, unclipping from my pedal and shaking it off while saying something witty that I can’t quite recall at the moment in calm, measured tones. \u00a0It didn’t look too good as it bounced along the pavement behind me, but once I’d collected myself and returned, planning to put it out of its misery, it was gone.<\/p>\n

Now, I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but it is pretty clear that we’re dealing with a zombie squirrel here, and where there is one zombie squirrel there are others. \u00a0Worse yet, given the speed with which it moved, it seems these are not a canonical Romero-esque shambling zombies, but rather the fast, “28 Days Later”-ish zombies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve shared a number of bonechilling ideas over the years, for the edification of my readers. \u00a0I’m not sure how the latest would work as a story idea, but it certainly was bonechilling. \u00a0I was riding along on my bike, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bonechilling-ideas"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4qgvH-2Y","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=184"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":186,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184\/revisions\/186"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/internetmanifestation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}